Have Fate Without Destiny
by dearprince
Summary: A proverb, a sand-filled starfish keychain, an unsent letter. The future is yet to be known. Who says they can't end up together? Tadase/Amu
1. Prologue

**Title: **Have Fate Without Destiny

**Summary: **A proverb, a sand-filled starfish keychain, an unsent letter. The future is yet to be known. Who says they can't end up together? Tadase x Amu

**Warning: **This fanfic is solely for the supporters of the following pairings: Tadase and Amu; Rima and Nagihiko; Kairi and Yaya; and Kuukai and Utau. Are you an anti of any of these pairings? If you are, kindly close this tab and never come back. I don't want to see stuff like "Tadamu sucks", "Tadase is gay", or any of that crap immature Amuto brats usually say. Also, I know I'm not the best writer out there, but I don't want to see any bashes, insults, and flames in the reviews. Constructive criticisms are however welcomed.

**Author's Note: **Hi, fellow Tadamu fans! I know we're outnumbered by Amuto fans, but we're a strong, solid camp, right? This fanfic is a result of my desire to contribute a little to the dwindling number of Tadamu fanfics. Anyway, this is my first time making a series, so I hope you all go easy on me. The story is a sequel to the manga (meaning I'll be staying true to the manga universe but in such a way that I'll add a touch of reality to give a Tadamu ending). It is set 10 years after Amu and the others have graduated from elementary school. This chapter is just a short prologue, and I was just testing out my horrible skills. Nevertheless, enjoy!

**Disclaimer's Notice: **I'm not Peach-pit. I don't own Shugo Chara nor am I affiliated with it because if I do, Tadase and Amu would have been canon by now. This fanfic is made by a fan for fans.

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><p>Everything was bright. The enormous rays of the sun gleamed toward the glass windows, scattering its light into the enclosed infrastructure. Yet the temperature was not warm; it was still the chilly month of January. Meanwhile, a chime could be heard here and now which was then followed by a voice of a woman dictating a combination of letters and numbers. The place was crowded by trolley, baggage, and people from different walks of life. The echoes of chitchats everywhere gave off a feeling of haziness and discombobulation.<p>

Strange as it was, Amu was running into this seemingly abyss. Her breathing quickened as she continued to run with all her might. Her legs felt woozy while her vision started to blur from exhaustion. Every step was a struggle, but for an athletic woman like Amu, endurance was nothing but a daily ritual. She halted for a while, looked left and right, then resumed running. A few more moments and she could be seen staggering her way in the middle of nowhere. It felt like she was chasing nothingness.

"Amu-chan!"

She stopped when she heard a faint voice from far away. She looked again from left to right and found nothing. The voice sounded very familiar. Was it from the one she was searching for? Or was it just her imagination?

"Amu-chan!"

No, it was not her imagination. It was definitely from the person she was searching for. She looked around. Where did that voice come from?

"Amu-chan!"

She turned around and finally saw _him_ standing a few meters away from her. Slender tears formed in her eyes. Are they really not destined to be together?

_You yuan wu fen. _This is a Chinese proverb Tsukasa mentioned to Amu when he read her palm during the time they visited him. It literally meant "have fate without destiny". In Chinese culture, fate and destiny are two different concepts. The proverb meant that two people were fated to meet each other but were not destined to end up together. In other words, the Universe had made a way so that two people could meet, but in the end, one or both of them screwed up whatever their existing relationship was. Tsukasa said that this proverb was the most applicable to Amu and someone dear to her.

Amu was not the type to believe in fortune-telling anymore, but this one was different; it was _the _Tsukasa Amasawa, the well-known clairvoyant. Moreover, the fact that yesterday and today happened made her really convinced that _he _and Amu indeed have fate without destiny.

Step by step, they both walked toward each other to close the distance between them. Amu could hear her heart beating very fast. She wasn't sure whether it was because of all the running she did earlier or because of the amicable smile flashed by the person in front of her. _Well, that doesn't matter anymore_, she thought. Her heart sank further as she found herself reliving every little bittersweet memory she had with him.

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><p><strong>Author: <strong>Sorry if it's too short. It's been a while since I last wrote. I'll just make the next chapters longer. Anyway, care to review please?


	2. Chapter 1

**Author's notes:** This chapter was inspired by the song, "Let-ters", which was composed by Heavenz and sung by Vocaloid IA. You may also want to check out Nayugorou's cover of it because that version is really beautiful. *A* Anyway, chapter 1 is up, enjoy!

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><p>The alarm clock set off at exactly 6:00 in the morning. Summoning all her strength, Amu lifted her sluggish arm to slam the alarm clock off. She grumbled as she sat down on her bed for a few seconds before fumbling her way to the bathroom to take a hot shower. As warm water droplets pierced her skin, Amu felt her senses awaken. She felt the energy rushing through her body as she washed herself. After several more minutes, she pulled a folded towel from the tub and covered herself.<p>

It has been two weeks since she moved to Aoyama, Tokyo's high fashion district. She is currently an executive assistant slash protégé of Kurihara Mao, one of the most famous fashion designers in the district. Kurihara owns CDG, a Japanese fashion label firm that is Tokyo-based but has many other concept stores throughout Japan, specifically in Kyoto, Osaka, and Fukuoka. The company is also slowly gaining popularity internationally, with stores recently established in Paris, New York, and Hong Kong. Amu was enamored with the flourishing fashion industry of Japan during her senior high school days, so she decided to enter the renowned Bunka Fashion College in Shibuya and eventually work in Aoyama. This decision was the start of her independence.

Amu wore a cream-colored blouse with butterfly sleeves, a black tiered skirt, reaching two inches above her knees, and brown fur boots with stiletto heels. Since winter has started, she also prepared her winter cardigan and favorite purple shawl. After sufficiently drying her hair and putting on some appropriately light makeup, she carried her long-strapped, black pepe leather bag and headed outside.

CDG's main office was just a few blocks away from Amu's apartment, so it had become a routine for her to wake up early and enjoy the gentle breeze brushing through her hair. Although she was not yet used to the life in the fashion industry, she found inner peace in walking along the streets of Tokyo, reminiscing the times when she was still with her friends and family. Back in college, every once in a while, she would visit her family especially during Golden Week. These were the times when she would reunite with her old childhood friends and hang out with them. Sometimes, Amu's younger sister, Ami, would visit her instead to ask for fashion tips and for some cute dresses along the way. Nevertheless, Amu never forgot to catch up with the most important people in her life, well, with some _exceptions_.

When she reached the entrance, she inserted a few coins to a nearby vending machine and chose double mocha. She took the cup then went straight ahead to her office, a room away from the main executive office. After taking a sip, she put the cup down on her desk, as well as her bag, then pulled out a notebook and pen from her drawer. She headed out of her room and made her way to the office of her boss.

"Good morning, Kurihara-san," Amu greeted with a smile.

"Morning," Kurihara, who was standing and facing the window, puffed a smoke from her mouth. The suffocating smell of cigarette smoke filled the room instantly.

"I'm here to remind you of your schedule for today," Amu closed the door and went near her boss.

"You're early, Hinamori," Kurihara quickly disposed her cigarette on an ashtray then sat down in a cross-legged position. Amu smiled as a reply to the remark then opened her notebook.

"Since you're currently working for a Spring collection, today will be a relatively free day. At 10 AM, you'll meet with the sales department for the year-end report of the CDG sales. Then at around 2 PM, you'll have to submit a statement to the press about the upcoming runway next month..." Amu paused for a while when she noticed how inattentive her boss was.

"I need to be free by 6 PM," Kurihara sternly announced.

"I'm afraid you can't. You need to meet with someone from the Ministry of Economy, Trade, and Industry for consultation at 7 PM," Amu replied immediately. "This is for the mass-market export we're planning to do next year," she continued.

Kurihara winced as if in pain. She then faced Amu with crocodile tears falling down from her face.

"Amu-chaaaaaaan, that's too cruel. It's my boyfriend's birthday todaaaay," Kurihara sniffed. "We're having a romantic dinner. Can you please go to the consultation alone?" she clasped her hands as if begging to a god.

Amu raised an eyebrow. _A boyfriend_? She stared at her boss who was in her early 40s. She was bewildered by the scene in front of her. The image of a strict, aloof woman that she had on her boss started to crumble one by one.

"My job description clearly said that I only have to _set _appointments and _assist_ you in those appointments. Who am I going to assist if you're not there?" Amu reminded her boss. "Plus, if your boyfriend truly loves you, I'm sure he'll understand," she declared in a confident tone.

"Amu-chaaaan, don't be so cold-hearted," Right at this moment, Kurihara clung to her assistant. Her eyes pleaded while her lips turned into a pout.

"Okay, fine!" Amu sighed.

"Yaaay! Thank youuu, Amu-chaaan," Kurihara's eyes brightened for a while, but after realizing her shameful actions, she coughed a bit and let Amu go.

"You may go now. I'll call you if I need anything," With this, Amu felt that she was not needed inside the room anymore. She bowed to her boss as a sign of respect and made her way to the door, but before she can open it, Kurihara called her attention again.

"Hinamori," she lit another cigarette. "Prepare a few Spring designs. Be my partner for the next runway show," Kurihara puffed out a smoke again. Upon hearing those words, Amu turned around to face her boss, with eyes widened from surprise.

"Yes, Ma'am!"

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><p><em>"I heard she's dating a college guy!"<em>

_"Yeah! And I think she's going to live with him in Europe!"_

Tadase slowly awoke from his short slumber. After the pilot's confirmation that they have arrived safely in Narita International Airport, he gently removed his seatbelt and got up from his seat. The airport was as usual crowded, and since he hated the feeling of congestion, he hurried his way to the immigration control then to the baggage claiming, and lastly to the customs clearing. Despite the effort, it still took him at least half an hour to go through all the process. Pulling along his suitcase, he strolled around Narita Nakamise, the largest airport mall in Japan, to search for souvenirs.

It has already been months since Tadase had graduated from university. He entered a joint BA/MA program on International Affairs in Switzerland that allowed him to gain both a bachelor's and a master's degree in just five years. However, this would not have been possible without financial aid. He applied and got accepted to two scholarship programs of the schools he went into, one during intermediate and high school while the other during college. It was his desire to conquer the world that helped him reach the place he was in right now.

Ever since graduation, monochromatic colors had also been the theme of Tadase's fashion. For today, he wore a gray single-breasted suit, custom-tailored and precisely cut to fit his physique well. His body was a slim one, just like what a typical Japanese young adult would look like, yet with well-built muscles. His shoes were sleek and shiny black, enhancing the smart and neat look he had been aiming for. But unfortunately for him, his eyes were too good for glasses.

"I can't believe it. It's really you, Tadase-sama... no... Tadase-kun!" a voice of a woman called out from behind. Tadase looked behind and saw a familiar face. The voice came from a woman he knew from elementary school.

"Yamabuki-san?" he wasn't sure. It had been more than ten years since he saw anyone from his elementary school.

"I'm glad that you can still remember!" Saaya exclaimed. "It's been a long while!"

"Yeah, it's been more than ten years. How are you doing?" Tadase smiled a bit. He knew he would encounter an acquaintance now that he's back in Japan, but he didn't expect it to be this soon.

"Doing great! Right now, I'm waiting for my boyfriend to arrive from Los Angeles," Saaya replied. "How about you? Have you been in touch with our other classmates?"

Tadase hesitated momentarily. He didn't know how to respond to a question that he had been avoiding like a plague. Then he remembered _her_. He knew it would be better not to inquire about the past anymore, but he tried rationalizing the necessity to ask the question that made him suffer these last ten years by thinking he would have to face that woman someday anyway.

"No, I haven't," Tadase slightly frowned. "Do you have news about them?"

"Oh, I haven't met with them since I migrated to LA after our elementary graduation," Saaya explained. "But... I think I saw Hinamori-san a few days ago," her voice trailed off.

"How is she?" Tadase's heart skipped a beat when those words suddenly came out from his mouth.

"I saw her sitting alone at a café in Aoyama," she responded. "I wonder what happened. I thought for a fact that you two are dating then suddenly, I heard rumors about her dating a college guy and moving somewhere in Europe,"

Tadase felt his heart froze. He could still remember how the rumors of Amu and Ikuto dating spread throughout the campus like a lightning. And like the strike of a lightning, it was rapid and painful at the same time. Unable to reply to Saaya, he thought of ways to change the topic or to just get out of the awkward conversation altogether. Suddenly, he felt his phone rang. _Thank god!_

"Sorry, I have to take this," Tadase smiled apologetically then held out his phone. "Hello?"

"Hotori-kun, I know you've only arrived, but you have work waiting for you later," his coordinator told him from the other side of the line.

"Immediately? What is it?" he inquired.

"You have to meet with the CDG people at 7 PM. I'll send the details to your e-mail,"

"Noted," Tadase replied. "By the way, where am I going to meet them?"

"In Cicada Restaurant in Aoyama,"

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><p>Tadase looked at his watch and realized he was thirty minutes early to the meeting. He was sitting nervously on a reserved seat beside the windows. Of course, he was anxious; after all, he was in <em>Aoyama, <em>the place where Saaya saw Amu. He reminded himself that his coordinator's email clearly indicated that he would meet with a fashion designer named "Kurihara Mao". To further distract himself, he opened his attaché case and checked if he was able to print out and bring the files he needed for the short consultation. After reassuring himself that he was indeed prepared, a sigh of relief was heard from him. When he was about to close the case, he noticed a wrinkled paper stuck between two folders. It was folded in half and had faded into yellow.

_I guess I forgot to leave this letter at my apartment,_ he thought.

He pulled out the letter and felt a mixture of guilt and regret. Deciding it would be better not to read the contents anymore, he kept the letter in his breast pocket then closed the attaché case. He stared against the windows once more, and without even trying, the memories when he wrote that unsent letter flashed through his mind. It was a usual day of heavy academic load, and feeling quite hopeless, he casually took a pen and paper. He wrote and wrote until he could let all of his bottled emotions out. However, he soon realized that he did not have the courage to send the letter. He rationalized this cowardice by believing in the rumors about her. _Where would I send it if Amu-chan had already vacated her home address and moved with Ikuto somewhere in Europe? _And so he kept the unsent letter in his drawer for more than ten years.

He closed his eyes and listened to the clattering sound of utensils, particularly chopsticks, and soft conversations by the customers. He cherished this moment, the fact that he was back in Japan. He missed his family, friends, and of course, that woman. His realization of how childish and timid he was back then, especially that one time when he admitted only liking Amulet Heart, continued to torment his mind and soul for years, even until now.

_Shall I forgive the person that I was back then?_

He wanted to forgive himself, but he could not. All his suppressed feelings prevented him from doing so. He blamed himself for his misery and let the past torture him. After selfishly deciding not to see her again for "their" happiness, the thought of seeing her again terrified him now. But at the same time, the thought of Amu forgetting him also frightened him. These complicated feelings however went into a halt when he slowly opened his eyes.

A young woman of about mid-twenties stood from the entrance. Her hair was a sweet color pink while her eyes were elegantly colored with honey gold. Tadase could not believe it. He was completely dumbfounded by what he was seeing. He could only utter the woman's name and the endearing honorific he used to call her.

"Amu-chan…"

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><p><strong>Author's notes: <strong>I'm not sure if the pacing of the story is a bit slow. As you can see, I'm introducing the characters, so I have to fill the gap of ten years by blocks of text. Also, the places, institutions, and the restaurant I've mentioned are real (but it's not my intention to advertise them haha). I got the names of Kurihara Mao and CDG from real-life fashion designer Kurihara Tao and fashion label Comme des Gar_ç_ons (the way I portrayed them definitely differs from the reality though). I guess that's it. Don't forget to leave a review, okay? Chapter 2 will be up next week hopefully!


	3. Chapter 2

**Author's Note: **I apologize for the delay. I was really busy preparing for an exam that will decide my future. *cries* Anyway, thanks for the reviews! I was motivated to finish this chapter because of you guys.

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><p>"I'm Kurihara-san's assistant, and I was the one who called to reserve a seat for two earlier," Amu took out her ID with a CDG label on it.<p>

The receptionist quickly responded with a smile and ushered Amu to the table where Tadase was sitting. Amu's eyes widened in shock as soon as she saw the familiar blonde. Likewise, Tadase was unable to say anything. The both of them stared at each other until Amu broke the silence.

"You're from METI?"

"Yeah," Tadase awkwardly responded. "You… you're Kurihara-san?"

Amu broke out into a short laughter before taking a seat in front of him. "No, I'm Kurihara-san's assistant. She sent me because she has other things to attend to,"

"I see. She must be really busy,"

Amu chuckled once more when she remembered how Kurihara-san begged her to come to this meeting. Intending to not divulge anything about the famous designer's private life, she just nodded as a reply then changed the subject. "Hey, I've never heard anything from you for ages. How have you been?" she smiled.

When he saw her smile, he instantly remembered every little fragment of his memories with her. She was smiling like the way she did back then. _Pure and sincere._

"Let's save the catching up later," he evaded the question.

"Alright, if that's what you want," Amu took out a pen and a small notebook from her bag.

"So what exactly is it that you want to consult about," Tadase paused then leaned a bit forward. "Hinamori-san?"

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><p>Dinner was served as soon as they started the consultation. The restaurant was known for its Mediterranean-style cuisine, particularly on meals consisting of seafood and grains. Both of them chose the chef's carte du jour, which was grilled tuna steak with cous cous and carrot curry nage, complemented by a Villa Orsara white wine.<p>

While they enjoy the dinner, Tadase and Amu seamlessly talked about work. Most of the time, Amu nodded, took notes, and asked questions like an eager child wanting to learn new things. On the other hand, Tadase showcased an aura of sophistication as he presented various papers with regard to the statistics of the clothing trade industry in Japan. He explained each data elaborately by translating difficult concepts into terms that even a layperson like Amu could understand. They talked for over two hours, but neither of the two noticed the time.

"Wow, it's already this late," Amu remarked as she looked at her watch. A surprised expression came upon Tadase when he also noticed the time.

"I'm so sorry. I got carried away. But I can…" he faltered. He was about to offer her a ride, but he deemed it inappropriate. He did not want to get too involved with Amu anymore.

"No, it's okay. Thank you for making everything clear," Amu smiled but with a worried look on her face.

The time was still early compared to when she would usually go home during her college days. However, the situation now was different from before. Since it had only been two weeks since she moved in Aoyama, the district was still new and unfamiliar for her. The thought of commuting alone late at night still frightened her.

Silence covered the atmosphere. Tadase was tormented by his conflicting thoughts of wanting to make sure Amu would make it home safe and to make sure he would not get entangled in the world called "Amu" again.

"Let's go home now?" Amu stood up and carried her bag. Then she reached out for a handshake. Tadase quietly got up from his seat and shook her hand.

"I…" his voice trailed off. He sighed as he fumbled for something in his pocket.

"What is it?"

"I'll take you home," he took out his car keys then smiled.

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><p>Amu's apartment was not as far as Tadase had expected. It only took them several minutes to get to her place. Upon reaching their destination, Amu removed her seat belt but hesitated to get off the vehicle.<p>

"Thanks for the ride,"

"No problem,"

The two of them remained uncomfortably quiet for several seconds. No one tried to speak nor move. They were waiting for each other to break the deafening silence. Suddenly, Amu giggled, amused with the awkward tension between them.

"It's been a really long while, hasn't it?" she cheerfully spoke.

"Yeah. What a coincidence that we meet today," he also laughed.

"I really missed you,"

Tadase was taken aback, startled by the words that came out from her mouth. As he noticed how her eyes were fixed on his, he felt his cheeks turn bright red.

"I should probably—" he was then interrupted by Amu.

"Why don't we go inside my place?"

He understood that this would be a bad idea, but he could not open his mouth. He could not resist the invitation. _Get a hold of yourself_, he thought to himself.

"Let's talk about our shugo chara," she continued. Tadase snorted at himself. After all, he was having some impure thoughts for a while there.

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><p>Tadase parked his car just outside the apartment complex. Afterwards, he followed Amu inside the building and watched her search for her keys in her bag as they stood behind her apartment door. A clanking sound was then heard when Amu pulled out a set of keys that were connected to a sand-filled starfish keychain.<p>

"That starfish keychain…"

"This? Tsukasa gave this to me in the Road of Stars," she explained as she tried opening the door with one of the keys.

"Oh," Tadase realized that Amu had not yet figured out that it was _him_ and not Tsukasa that met her in the Road of Stars.

"We're here!" Amu exclaimed happily. "Just sit anywhere you want,"

To his right, Tadase could see a fully furnished kitchen as if designed to accommodate a professional cook. Right next to the counter was a small round table with two dark-colored chairs. There was a porcelain vase that stood on its center while a lighting fixture hung above it.

"Are you okay with citrus tea?"

"Sure,"

There were two other rooms at the left side: one for the bathroom and another for Amu's sleeping sanctuary slash workplace. On the further side just before the balcony was a sofa with a glass coffee table and a 32-inch flat screen TV in front of it. Beside it was a small bookshelf containing lot of fashion magazines and books, as well as framed photographs of her family, dearest friends, and Ikuto.

"This is a cozy place," Tadase chose to sit on the dining chair just near Amu who was preparing the tea.

"It's a bit expensive though," she responded.

After a few more minutes, she served the tea together with some home baked cookies on a platter. Then she sat beside Tadase and gestured him to taste what she prepared for him.

"Wow, this tastes wonderful!" he remarked vehemently after having a bite of Amu's cookies. "Just the right blend of sweetness,"

"Really? Thank goodness you liked it," she blushed a bit. "It's funny how I used to suck at baking and cooking. I hated Home Economics,"

"I don't remember tasting any burnt food from you though," he took a sip of citrus tea.

"Well, I remember chara changing with Su every time I needed to bake something," she held her teacup. "I miss Su. I miss everyone,"

"When did your shugo chara disappear?"

"Around when I entered college," she answered. "But you know what? I don't think they had disappeared at all. I learned this from the Road of Stars,"

Tadase smiled when he remembered that journey. It may have been several years ago for Amu and the past _him_, but for the present Tadase, that was just a month ago. It could have probably been a premonition that the two of them would eventually meet like this.

"Until now, I can feel them inside of me. Well, of course, not literally," she laughed gleefully. "But the confident and athletic Ran, the artistic and creative Miki, the caring and domestically skilled Su, and the radiant Dia… they have become and have always been a part of myself. They were my would-be selves after all,"

"I feel the same way. At least I think I am now way stronger than I was before. But I wonder if I had become too egotistical and demanding just like Kiseki," he chuckled at the thought.

"I remember you were like a prince back then!"

They both burst out laughing. In the past, when someone called him a "prince", he would automatically chara change with Kiseki and would suddenly have this burning desire to conquer the world. But ever since Kiseki had disappeared, there were obviously no more chara changes. Strange enough, no one called him a "prince" anymore.

"I am not a prince," Tadase smirked.

Amu thought her heart skipped a beat when the atmosphere had suddenly gone serious. Tadase tilted his body towards her, closing the distance between them bit by bit. Amu forcefully closed her eyes and readied herself to push Tadase away once he got too close.

"You should not invite anyone inside your apartment too easily," he patted Amu's head and smiled gently.

"But you're not just 'anyone' for me," she reasoned out. Tadase could only smile as a response to her.

"It's getting late. I have to go now," he got up from his seat and walk towards the door.

"Tadase-kun..." she paused. "Why did you call me 'Hinamori-san' in the restaurant? It's as if we were never close friends,"

"I don't mix business with pleasure," he spoke in a strict tone.

"I understand, but I hope that if we're not talking about business, you'll call my name just like before," she replied.

"Okay," Tadase turned to Amu one last time before he headed out of her apartment. "See you later, Amu-chan,"

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><p>Tadase enjoyed the night breeze on the balcony of his apartment. With a glass of wine on his hand, he glanced at the stars above. All of a sudden, he remembered Amu's bookshelf which contained a framed photograph of Ikuto. When he saw that, he felt a piercing pain hit his chest that made him want to go home.<p>

"Why did I call you 'Hinamori-san', huh?" he whispered to himself. Then he realized that he called her that way earlier because he was still trying to distance himself. Seeing her again made him feel the pain of jealousy and unrequited love again, and he did not want to openly grasp that agony of longing for someone he could not have.

He drank the remaining wine on his glass before taking another gaze at the stars that were scattered like pearls into an endless silk of sky. After more contemplation, he began to feel different. He was now becoming more honest to himself.

_I still love you, Amu-chan._

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><p>I was in a hurry when I made this, so I had no time to proofread. Sorry for the grammatical errors and lazy writing. The next chapter will be a revelation of what really happened between Amu and Ikuto during the past ten years. I hope I can finish it by the first week of March!<p> 


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